Weenies en salsa

My grandparents were amazing, my grandfather working multiple jobs to make ends meet and my grandmother working miracles to keep everyone fed, clothed and in school.  And it worked.  Some of the things she did to save money were the odd little things she did in the kitchen.

My grandmother was a proud woman, but not too prideful. I remember when she would go to the grocery store and negotiate a lower price on fruits and vegetables just past their freshness date & bones "for the dog".  We'd go home and she would cut the bruised parts out of the vegetables and boil the bones for soup. Another thing she did was make weenies en salsa, a recipe borne of necessity after my grandfather was laid off his primary job. Years later, she was still making it, usually Saturday morning, served with eggs and retried beans.

Weenies en salsa

1 package of hot dogs, sliced

Vegetable oil, maybe a tsp

Diced onions, amount depends on how much you like onions

Garlic, (minced, sliced, whatever) to taste

Comino (or cumin for you non-Spanish spice speakers)

Tomato sauce

Optional, jalapeño or serrano pepper

My grandmother sliced the hot dogs (she really did call them weenies) diagonally, I guess it's what I'm used to.  My mom slices them in rounds. Sauté them in a small amount of oil with the onions until the hot dogs are browned and the onions sweat.  You can add the garlic at the end with the comino cumin, if you're brave enough.  My grandmother always toasted her comino, it just tastes better that way.  Adding it with the garlic for a short time accomplishes the toasting without the extra step.  When the garlic softens, add the tomato sauce.  Opinions differ here - mom likes a thicker sauce, my uncle not so much, so use as much tomato sauce as you like.  Add water to thin it a bit and then simmer, this is where you can add the peppers of choice, add them whole or chop in rounds.  Simmer until the sauce is the consistency you like.  

Serve with rice, beans and tortillas

In the vein of open and honest communication, my mother browns the hot dogs, adds a can of Rotel and then uses comino and garlic to taste and let's it simmer.  Not as good but works in a pinch.

There is always a package of hot dogs in the freezer.  We make it on Saturday morning or after mass on Sundays, sometimes with eggs but not always.  I think of my grandmother stirring the saucepan while this cooked and I wonder what went through her head - resolution, sadness, acceptance, hope or relief knowing that no one would go hungry that day.  So now, during the hard times, and during the good times, making this dish reminds me to be grateful because no matter what, this too shall pass.  

This journey has been interesting to say the least...

I look at myself from time to time and I mean, really look at myself. I'll stop & look at my image in a reflective surface, not with vanity but with curiosity. I don't feel like the person I see looking back at me. While not necessarily a stranger, it's more like a close relative whose company you don't mind. 

The hair is still dark brown, but no longer content to remain hidden in the back, a few grays have ventured forth. There's a little more weight on the frame & the skin is showing signs of changing. (My grandmother was right, i should e used more moisturizer.) The eyes are still bright, the logic still fuzzy - while that hasn't changed, at 40, other things did. I became middle-aged.  

Age was always this nebulous thing to me because I've looked younger, and while youthful, I've always been thought mature for my age. I can honestly say I never thought about aging. Until it happened to me. 

The changes were so gradual, I'm still not sure when it happened.  Maybe with the first surgery? It could've been the knee that did me in. (I still think that was just 20yo me not thinking about middle-aged me.) There's the back pain from childbirth & a lumbar puncture. And the fact that now I shop in aisles I never ventured into before.  Aisles with products for things like "light bladder leakage" &  glucosamine for joints. I read articles on menopause & aging as if I were preparing for an exam.  And in a way, I am. A final exam. 

Aging is not a luxury afforded to everyone. It's also inevitable so why try to fend it off with anti-aging creams or Botox shots? I've had great role models for this aging thing. My mother & grandmother have not only approached it with grace & dignity, but they also kicked it's ass.  For the record, neither one of them ever used Botox..

So there it is. Creaky start up pains and all, this is it. In honor of everyone who has been denied the privilege of aging, go do good things. I'll see you in the analgesics aisle. 

Today is her birthday

They say there are three stages of dying. The first is when your heart ceases to beat & the last breath is drawn. The second, when the body is lowered to the ground. The third & final death is when there is no one to speak your name. I will fight off her third death as long as I am able.

This obit represents the last page of the last chapter in my grandmother's life but it's here in the epilogue that she lives on.

This obit tells you when her life ended. It doesn't tell you how she lived it or who she was. It doesn't tell you that when I came home, soaked from getting caught in the rain, she would dunk me in a tub to keep me from getting sick. It won't tell you that when my brother died, I got home & collapsed in her arms. She sat in a chair, my head in her lap, cradling me until I could breath. It won't tell you about the estafiate tea she swore would cure you of anything. It won't tell you about her devotion, her integrity or her love of orange slices & pansies. Or even how she grew roses or only wore Gloria Vanderbilt cologne. It won't tell you about the night before she died, in a lucid moment when she told me I was beautiful & that she loved me. It won't tell you that she was my touchstone & that not a day goes by I don't carry her with me.

She wasn't the Alzheimer's that robbed her. She wasn't the cancer that advanced. She wasn't the pneumonia. She was my anyeverything.

She's not in the words of her obit or in any pictures I could post. She isn't any of those things. She is in my every heartbeat & every breath.

I celebrate her life, not by laying flowers on her grave, or wishing her happy birthday on a social media site. I celebrate her by sharing her memories, by saying her name, by never, ever forgetting. She lives on because I will fight her Third Death telling her stories with every word I have. I will not forget. 

Her name is Arnulfa Gonzales Vigil. She is my grandmother.

Amazing customer service - @TwelveSouth

My fave iPhone case ever has been the @TwelveSouth BookBook. It looks like an awesome mini-book. A few have mistaken it for a bible. Thus, I look chaste & pious, completely hiding the fact that I'm on Reddit reading questionable articles. (/atheism is really funny....)

This week my iPhone 5's BookBook died and I was mourning it's untimely demise on Twitter.



Safe to say it's a well loved case, see how the spine is really worn?



All the letters wore off awhile back. It does resemble an oft-read book which gives me even more reason to love it.

Anyway, it seems that @TwelveSouth employees tweet. One of them caught the thread & asked me to DM him to discuss. The response was immediate & very proactive. I told him up front I didn't want anything & waxed philosophic about the BookBook. He thanked me for the kind words & suggested I contact them to see if I was still covered under the warranty. Seriously awesome customer service.

Thnx @TwelveSouth for not only making great products & standing behind them, but for having such great associates.

(I'll post an update if there is one-)

It's Monday...

I have yet to get started good at work but I have managed to make tea. The good news is that my new infuser carafe from Teavana is pretty darn awesome.




I used mystery tea. It was leftover from the last Teavana round and it must've been discontinued though because I can't find it at Teavana.com.

Recommendation: if you find mystery tea & you're brave enough to use it, steep it for 2mins. You can always make it stronger but diluting it doesn't take the cooked taste out.